There are only so many hours in a day, and so much pressure to maximize every minute if we want to be respectable, productive people. Work long hours to be materially successful. Prepare fresh, balanced meals to eat right and be healthy. Exercise to stay in shape. Have a hobby to fulfill needs or desires otherwise unmet in the workplace. Spend quality time with your loved ones. Stay abreast of world events, latest trends, contemporary art and literature to stimulate your intellect. Attend social events to feel connected to the world.
I’ve seen reports on television about people who get up an extra hour or two early to get in their daily workout before going to work. Or people who start their work day at like 5 a.m. so that they’ll be done by early afternoon and have the rest of the day to go sailing, do yogo or whatever. I have a Facebook friend who regularly reports on his status bar the inability to sleep and that he is up at 4 a.m. writing poetry or a script or doing something otherwise artistic and productive before then going off to work.
I get insomnia too from time to time, and have even been known to get up and read or write in those early hours until sleep takes over and forces me back to bed. But then I sleep, and am generally more than a little late for work and not entirely productive the next morning. I’ve tried, but it just comes down to one simple fact: I NEED SLEEP. I can’t do without it. I get cranky. I can’t think. 6 hours is just not enough. 8 hours is a bare minimum. I easily sleep from 9-10 hours every night, but not without a certain sense of guilt.
Unfortunately, the fact that I sleep so much does not keep me from being tired all the time. “So, how are you doing?” the common question. “Oh, well, you know, I’m a bit tired, but otherwise I’m alright.” the typical answer.
It has been suggested to me that the sleeping so much might be directly related to the being tired all the time. There’s a thought, except that, if I don’t sleep my wonderful 9 hours, I am not only tired the next day, but verging on dysfunctional.
“Mais tu trouves ça normal ?” (Do you find that normal?) I asked my friend Val over lunch the other day.
“Yeah, I think that’s great,” she said, “I’d sleep more if I could. I think if you sleep it’s because your body reclaims it.”
We can only do so much, at least in a day. So I am letting go of the idea of sleeping less, and simply letting my body and the night decide. With my waking hours I will spend them as wisely as I know how, and as my energy will allow. And that will have to be good enough.